I Wanna Say "I Give Up!"

The house is not coming until NEXT Thursday.

As in October 5th.

As in a whole month later than expected.

I want to kick and scream and cry and hit something or someone. I do. I really do.

I want to bitch and moan and say I shouldn't be surprised. That even though everyone else I know of who got a pre-fab house, got it a week early, WE would have to get ours a month late.

I want to scream out to the universe "Why does everything have to be SO hard for us? Haven't we had enough already?"


............... But I can't.


Damnit!

In a twisted way it almost sucks that I know how blessed we are. But I do know it. It would almost be easier if I could just sit and mope and dwell and be one of those people that "know" that their life is so much harder than anyone else's. I think that some people actually find comfort in doing that. It makes them feel good to feel bad.

This summer there were times when I was scared I was going to be one of those people. That misery would bring me joy because it was the only thing you could count on, that made sense. But feeling bad didn't make me feel good. It just made me feel bad. And I got tired of it. I didn't want to feel bad anymore. So I forced myself to open my eyes and see just how great we still have it. And once I did that, there was no going back.

Sure, I still get upset over things that don't really matter. Hey - I'm still human. But I can't stay upset for too long. Not really. Kinda sucks, actually.

It's just that once you've been through the fire, it's hard to get upset over a spark.

So, as much as I want to throw up my hands and curse....... because we have to wait yet another week before we set our eyes upon our new home..... Because our move home is pushed back another week....... Because we miss home so much it hurts and can't feel like we're on the right path until we're there again.

..... I can't.

Because I know that we're blessed. Blessed to still have each other - our family. And blessed to be getting a new home at all, ..... even if it is a little late.