Ta Da!

Ok. So anyone who has been in my house knows that there was one little spot left that still needed to be painted. I cannot stand white walls, or ceilings for that matter. What's worse is that this was just primer paint, so it marked something awful. Enough was enough. We got busy!

And now what used to look like this.......

......Now looks like this!

Plus, my hubby is so inventive, ambitious and I'll say it - a tad bit crazy - that he couldn't stop there. He set to work.........

building a contraption............

..........that helped him do this!

Ta da! Pretty awesome huh? It's amazing what a coat of paint can do. The pics really don't do it justice. It's like the house is new all over again. Jason is very proud of himself. Now I want to just keep going. I want to stain the basement stairs, buy and hang shelves, hang more pictures, buy a bulletin board, get a wall sconce, and hey! while we're at it, why not just finish the whole basement?!

What's that you say?

Oh yeah........that's right......we have no money to do all of that.

Too bad. Something to look forward to , I guess.

But for now, I'm just going sit here and breathe in that wonderful smell of fresh paint. Not too deeply, of course.

Hmmmm...

I am starting to get a headache.

At Last

Today Jason and I decided to do some things that we've been talking about doing for quite awhile. Jason took a huge pile of recycling to the bin in Blackville and we bagged all of our bottles and placed them in the back of the van. So the next time we go to town there will be no excuses.

When we got married, my Aunt gave us a "Keenan" sign that she had painted herself. It's one of those "established 1998" ones - the year we were married. I used to have it hanging in the kitchen, behind the door, when we lived in the trailer. I would dream of the day I could hang it on my house outside........and today was the day! I cannot say how excited I was!

Also, two years ago, I bought an Anne of Green Gables wind chime at Avonlea Village in PEI. It is one of my favorite places in the world. I never hung it. Never really took it out of the box. I was saving it. I told myself that I would not hang it until I could hang it off the eave of my porch. There were times when I thought I would never get the chance. But today I did it. I could have cried. I seriously cannot say how special this was for me. I hung outside my bedroom window so I could go and look out at it and remember. Remember how blessed I am to have this house. Remind myself of how I feel when I am on the island. But most importantly, to remind myself that dreams do come true, if you believe long enough.

It's funny how something so small, like the act of hanging a wind chime, can lift your spirit. Feed your soul. Simply bring you happiness.

The Mother Of All Blog Posts

So much has happened in the last while, I don't quite know where to start. Maybe I'll do the whole chronological thing. That seems to be the easiest way. Ok. Here go.

Friday, March 16th - I worked at the school from 8:30am - 3:00pm. I was covering for Linda. Actually had to serve for the first time. Which means that I was the one you remember in the cafeteria who would ask you what you wanted, put the food on the plate, and hand it to you. I was a little nervous, especially with high school kids and the teachers. It was just hard to judge at first, how much to give everyone. I was scared of running out of things. But over all, I actually didn't mind it at all. I think I might even like it once I got used to doing it all the time.

When I got home from work, Jason told me about a van that was for sale in Moncton. He had been talking to the guy on the phone a couple of times and was convinced that this could be the van for us. So being the spontaneous people that we are, we booked a room at the Beacon Light, packed our bags and headed to Moncton with the kids. There was a winter storm warning so we thought it best to stay the night then to try to drive back home again.


The van is a 1998 Pontiac Montana. It's in great shape. We took it for a test drive and told the man that we did indeed want to buy it. Yippee! We finally found our van.





The room we got at the Beacon Light was amazing. It was $95/night. It was in the new building that has the pool in it. It had a bedroom with two double beds in it and it's own television. Then there was a kitchen/living room that had a large flat screen television, table and chairs, a sofa bed, a new regular sized fridge and stove and microwave, 4-slice toaster and coffee maker. Plus the cupboards were filled with dishes, silverware, pots and pans, dish towels, etc... It reminded me of a cottage. They just simply requested that you wash your dishes before leaving. I thought it was a pretty amazing motel room for only $95/night. The kids did too.

Saturday, March 18th - We woke up Saturday morning to messy roads and freezing rain. Decided that since we were spending less on a van than we thought, that hey! might as well stay another night in Monkey town. Only problem was that the room we were staying in was already booked. So we had to switch to a smaller room, but no big. Took the kids to the mall and let them pick out one toy at Toys R Us. I got myself a new purse and a pair of jeans at Value Village. Ate supper at Heinz restaurant. Very good food.

Sunday, March 19th - Checked out of motel and headed for home. It was sunny, very nice for driving. Looked like Spring, especially close to Moncton where they have absolutely NO SNOW! (pigs!) When we were driving past a house in Chelmsford, I remembered how it had almost burned down once. (here's where you won't believe me) It had extensive damage inside. I remember them having trouble getting the smell out. So then, my mind started drifting and thinking of other houses I knew that had caught fire. Marilyn and Norman's house did. Lyle's. Bliss and Marilyn's almost did. I remember Valerie and Leslie's almost did during the great forest fire. Of course, these thoughts were only going on in my head. I almost mentioned it out loud to Jason, but didn't. Then we arrive home.


We're backing into my driveway, when my cell phone rings. It's Mom. Jason says something like, "Geez, they didn't wait long to call", considering we are literally just getting home. I answer and then Mom says. "Did anybody get a hold of you?". My stomach turns. This never seems to be a good way to start a conversation. Then she says "I don't know how you're going to tell Jason...". Again. Not good. Jason actually hears Mom say this line and assumes his father has died. I see a look on his face that sadly I know I will see again someday. "Margaret and Gerdie's house burnt down this morning." Oh my God! Jason looks at me asking what happened to his Dad. The kids start asking questions. I put on a sing song voice and tell the kids they are going over to visit with Grammy. We drop the kids off. I tell Jason. He is shocked but relieved that everyone is ok.


We drive up there to see how his parents are doing. They are, of course, in shock. It took no time at all for their home to go from this...............to this.

We get them to spend the night at our house. We give them our bed, put Samuel in with the girls and Jason and I take Samuel's bed. Jason makes jokes about sleeping with Star Wars characters...again. His parents are doing ok. They have literally lost everything, but are ok. No body gets any sleep.

Monday, March 19th - We get up earlier than normal. The kids are excited to have Nanny and Grandad here for a sleepover. I had told them about the house yesterday afternoon. They took the news ok as soon as they found out that everyone was alright. Samuel seems to be the one who takes it the hardest. He always does. He's the sentimental one. Like me. We get Jules and Samuel off to school. Then the rest of us head for town and then Moncton, again. The insurance company had cut them a cheque so they could go and buy some clothes and the essentials. We also needed to pick up our van and get the registration changed over, etc.. We part ways in the afternoon and drive our new van home. Very nice, but too tired to care right now.

I get home just in time to change my clothes and go to our annual PSSC dinner in town. Sherry picks me up. Jason is on the committee this year too, but for obvious reasons, does not attend. It is held at the Kins Centre around the square. I have not been there since my wedding reception. Food is actually good this year. So much better than last year. Best salad ever! While I was gone, Jason had taken the kids up to see the rubble. I was kinda upset that he did this at first, especially since I wasn't there with them. But Jules and Abby seem to be ok. They are sad for them but excited too for them to get a new home. Samuel of course, cries a lot. We decide to let them take the day off from school tomorrow. Margaret and Gerdie have now moved into an apartment in the basement of his brother's house. This is where they will stay until they move back home. Jason goes and helps them move their new things into their new place of residence.

Tuesday, March 20th - We get to sleep in a little since the kids are taking the day off. We catch up on some much needed laundry and then take the kids up to see where they are staying. It's small but very nice. Margaret says it is all she would ever need.

Wednesday, March 21st - Kids return to school, much to their dismay. We travel to town to pay some bills and check out some used mini-homes that are for sale. We look at three. The first one is quite seedy, second one needs work, but the third one is awesome! Perhaps a little pricey, but awesome just the same.

Thursday, March 22nd - Today is the Teddy Bear's Picnic at school. This is where all the kids who are going to start kindergarten in the Fall, go and are pretty much tested to see where they stand academically. Kinda nerve wracking for me, but Abby thoroughly enjoyed herself. She got to go on the bus for the first time. Jason hung out in the gym where Abby was, just for diabetic reasons. I went upstairs with the other parents to listen to some speakers. The first one was the district health nurse. She, of course, talked about healthy eating habits for our children. Then came up the subject of diabetes. How type 2 can now be found in children as young as 9 years old. She went on and on. How when you have diabetes, amputation is your future. Amputation! How ours will be the first generation to have the parents outlive their children. I felt myself sinking lower and lower in my chair. I could feel the pity from the other parents who knew that my child had diabetes. Sure they have type 1. It was not poor lifestyle choices that gave them diabetes, but still.....they have it just the same. After this lovely experience, I was cheered up by the fact that Abby had such a good time. A little birdie whispered in my ear that she did a great job. No problems at all. Way to go Abby! It was time for her to eat, so we took her up to the cafeteria to see Grammy. The three of us grabbed a table. I got a few glances from students who were probably seeing me for the first time without my apron on. Abby was excited to see Grace. Since September she has been saying that she didn't want to go to the big school, just Clora's preschool. But while she was sitting in the cafeteria, she asked if she could start going there every day.

That night, I sat down to watch my favorite show Grey's Anatomy". And sure enough, one storyline was about diabetes. A workaholic man had neglected to come in about his foot and ended up having to get it amputated. Seriously. Son of a bitch! Needless to say, watching this and hearing the health nurse's voice in my head, I started to literally have a panic attack on the couch. And I do mean literally. Jason said that I couldn't worry about when the kids are grown. That it was too far in the future. I shot back that sorry, worrying about it was something that I definitely could do. Sometimes it's the only thing.

Friday, March 23rd - Back to work at the school. This time just my regular 8:30am-1:30pm shift. Still recovering from last night's anxiety. But good news! Doaktown mill is hiring. Upon seeing this in the paper, Jason immediately emailed them his resume. Here's hoping he gets hired on. Fingers crossed. Toes too. Ended up having a pretty relaxing evening. Jason down in the basement playing PlayStation with the kids. Me sitting at counter doing cross stitching and listening to Billie Holiday. All is well in my world again.

Saturday, March 24th - Totally caught up on housework. Long time coming. Margaret and Gerdie brought KFC for supper. They were in town looking at another mini-home. This one looks promising. After supper, Jason, kids and I hop in the van to go to town for a drive. It is our first experience having a CD player in our car.(I know!) Awesome! I burned a CD with all the songs that the kids love to listen to. Here is the song list.

*Note: Not really kids music at all. :)

1. Life is a Highway - Rascal Flatts
2. Real Gone - Sheryl Crowe
3. Route 66 - John Mayer
4. Life Could be a Dream - The Chords
5. The Sweetest Escape - Gwen Stefani
6. Wind it Up - Gwen Stefani
7. Sexyback - Justin Timberlake
8. Hung-Up - Madonna
9. Sorry - Madonna
10. Who Says You Can't Go Home - Bon Jovi
11. Jackson - Reese Witherspoon & Joaquin's Phoenix
12. Butterfly - Crazytown
13. 100 years - Five for Fighting
14. I'm Alive - Celine Dion
15. Part of Your World - Little Mermaid Soundtrack
16. Look Through My Eyes - Phil Collins
17. Follow Her Around - Jimmy Rankin
18. You're Beautiful - James Blunt
19. Hollaback Girl - Gwen Stefani
20. I Want to Hold Your Hand - The Beatles

Jason's parents had given us some money to buy the kids something for Easter. I chose to buy them new sneakers because they could really use a pair. So they each got to pick a pair out. Plus they each had saved some change and got to spend it at the Dollarstore. God Bless the Dollarstore!

Sunday, March 25th - Jules woke us up for first time to tell us she was feeling "low". Checked Abby and she was low too. Couldn't have had enough carbs at bedtime lunch. Today was Christina's son Patrick's birthday. She was having a little get-together. Took kids. They had a great time. Talked to Trish. Hadn't seen her in awhile. Things are going very well between her and her boyfriend. Do I hear wedding bells? Just kidding Trish. :) Samuel finished reading his school book. At the end the dog died. Very sad. Lovely.

Monday, March 26th - Kids off to school again. I took the van and went to town to get some groceries. Damn I love that van! Pretty freaking awesome! I also did the whole Easter thing. This year it seems to be a bit more challenging finding things that the Easter Bunny can leave in plastic eggs hidden around the house. Felt like I didn't get the kids enough. I feel like this every year. Here, the Easter Bunny always does them up a basket filled with things from the Dollarstore. And he hides eggs. That's it. I mean he's not freaking Santa Claus! Must ignore stories of what he brings other children.

And that brings us to today. Jason is gone off to wash the van and dump off a massive load of recycling. It was seriously getting out of hand in the basement. Wow! I don't think I have written such a long blog post - ever! It took me two drafts to do it, .........but there it is.

And I Would Have Stayed Up With You All Night...

Yesterday I was so excited to go to the car auction in Moncton. Mom knocked off work early and came to babysit the kids. We left here shortly after 2pm. The auction didn't start until 6pm, so we had plenty of time to drive to Moncton, register for bidding and give each of the the vans there a thorough once-over before the bidding actually began. I had been concerned about the weather, considering the whole thing takes place outside. I didn't want to freeze to death. But yesterday turned out to be really quite warm, so aside from all the giant puddles, that wasn't a problem.

The problem was that all the vans up for sale were basically a pile of junk. They either had a gazillion miles on them, were leaking fluid of some sort, smoked when you revved them or their transmission was going. And they were fairly new vehicles . I mean 00's, 02's and even an 04'. It was quite disappointing. Ugh! My patience is wearing thin. Our problem was always that we could not afford a van. And now that we actually have the money to buy one, we can't find any. Very frustrating.


Changing the subject,........Monday night it was my turn to check the girls at 3am. In case I have failed to mention it here, we are still checking their blood sugar at least once a night, if not twice. Anyway, I had my alarm set for 3am, but because I was too tired/lazy, I didn't get up to check them until 4am. Abby was 13, so I knew she would be more than fine for the rest of the night. Jules, however, was 5.9. This is where it gets tricky. She could maintain a 5 until she gets up in the morning, like she has in the past. Or she could go low, in which case she would need some juice to bring her up. I decided to let her be and went back to sleep. Then I had a dream........

Jason and I were hosting some kind of party. At first it seemed like our wedding reception but then it switched to being a house warming. Anyway, pretty much everyone we have ever encountered in our lives was at this party. It was an ordinary dream.....and then it turned. It got dark and nightmarish. All of a sudden there were some not-so-nice people there. I knew they had done horrible things to others and now their sights were on me. Switch to I'm over at Mom's house. The kids are supposed to be getting off the bus soon....but no bus...no kids. Then I can hear Samuel screaming for me. He's crying hysterically, but I can't see him anywhere....can just hear him screaming, calling for me. Then some sort of vehicle passes slowly by and they have Jules with them. I lock eyes with her, as she passes the house. My hands are pressed against the window. She looks so scared and is also crying hysterically. There is someone in the house now. I know they have my kids..............And then I wake up.

I awoke with a jerk, my heart in my throat. It felt so real - that panic. But then I started telling myself that it was just a dream, to relax and go back to sleep. My eyelids were very heavy. I was so tired, it would take only half a minute for me to be sound asleep again. But then I remembered Jules. My thoughts argued back and forth. I should go check her. No, you're sooo tired, go to sleep. No, she could be low. Just make yourself get up. And then I remembered the last time I had a nightmare concerning my children.

We were living over at Grammy's house. I had awoke in the night feeling that same panic that I had just felt. The need to check on them was overwhelming. So I went and looked in on them. They were sound asleep. I thought since I was already up I might as well check the girls sugars. Jules was fine but Abby's sugar was quite low. I remember thinking "What if I hadn't woke up?".

This memory made me get up. I looked at the clock. It was 6am. I got the meter and lancet ready, walked into Jules' room, sat on her bed and checked her blood sugar. Something in me knew what it was going to say. The meter beeped. I looked down and sure enough it read 3.7. Jules was low and would need to drink some juice to bring her level up. As I walked out of her room, to go and pour her some juice, I looked upward and said out loud, "Thank you God!". I know that it was him who woke me up. I think I was having a perfectly normal dream and then God switched it to scare me and wake me up. In my dream I could hear Samuel crying but it was Jules' face that I saw, nobody else. I don't think it is a coincidence that the last two times I had a nightmare concerning the well being of my children, I woke up feeling the need to check them and thus discovered that they are low. It's things like these that let me know there is some one out there looking out for us.

The Amazing Race

Rob and Amber came in last on The Amazing Race last night. Too bad. I'm going to miss them. They were doing so well, I thought they would be in the final for sure. I was so hoping that Phil was going to say it was a non-elimination round. It makes me not want to watch anymore. I mean I will watch, but it's just not going to be as entertaining for me. Yes they lied, but come on! It's a race people! I actually wanted Charla and Mirna to go. That Mirna just grates on my nerves. I don't know how Charla stands it. Now I guess I'll have to root for Team Guido or Uchenna and Joyce. So far I don't mind Danny & Bill or Teri & Ian either. The teams I would hate to see win (other than Charla and Mirna) are Eric & Danielle and the beauty queens Dustin & Kandice.

It's just doesn't seem an all-stars without Rob & Amber.

***Insert sobs here. **** (sniffle)

You Are What You Do

I watched The Matador last night. Somehow I managed to miss this movie entirely. I mean I don't remember any previews or anything. I popped it into the DVD player without even reading the back of the jacket. So I had absolutely no idea what it was about. I loved it!! I mean I really loved it!! I literally laughed so hard I cried. It stars Pierce Brosnan & Greg Kinnear. Pierce is amazing! His best role I've ever seen. If it wasn't for Joaquin Phoenix being nominated in the same category(Best Musical or Comedy - Joaquin won for Walk The Line), he totally would have won a Golden Globe for this performance. He's really that good.

So the time has changed. I completely forgot. I always do. Mom called me yesterday to remind me. She always does. And then last night I went to bed without changing the clocks and woke up this morning thinking I had gotten up quite early, only to realize that it was actually 8:20am, not 7:20am. Oh well. Part of me loves this whole idea of making the switch early, while the other part would have liked to leave it the way it was. That way we're all that much closer to Spring when it happens and the snow actually stands a chance of melting. Right now we're just getting more sun in the evening to stare at the snow, and wish it to be gone already. But I guess the snow will be gone soon enough.

A friend gave me a link to a website where you can have your tarot card reading done online. I did it this morning and it was really quite interesting. I am apparently The Magician - "possessing unusual magical powers that has the ability to bring you anything that your heart desires. You only have to wish for something and it is right there in front of you." Cool! I'll take that. There were also some details in there that were literally spot on. Very funny.

Who Says You Can't Home?

Last night I met my brother's new girlfriend. She seems really nice. They are both here visiting for the weekend. I'm very happy for him to have found someone. He is beyond proud. He told the kids her name and then said,"Do you know who she is to me? She's my girlfriend". The kids were like "OK then". It's hard to get a desired reaction from a 7 year old. Jules pulled me aside, giggled a little and whispered, "Is Lee in love with her?". I smiled and told her I didn't know.....one can only assume.

After they left, Jason and I finally watched "Little Miss Sunshine", which along with numerous other DVDs, I borrowed from Kellie many weeks ago. I loved it! That girl totally deserved her nomination. The crying scene on the bed where she's worried about being a loser......amazing! I was on the verge of tears at the end, when her family got up on stage dancing with her. I just hate how society is. I'm scared for my children, especially my two daughters. Simply because I am a girl and I know how hard it can be. I'm trying so hard to raise them not to mold themselves into what other people say they should be. We don't use the word "fat" in our house, unless it's in reference to saturated or trans. We never speak of dieting but rather eating healthy. Exercise is never connected with losing weight but rather a part of living a healthy life. But you can only control so much. I can't control what they hear at school from other kids, or from certain family members.(believe me, I try!) All I can do is try my best. In the end it's going to be up to them alone, their own personal journey. I hate it...it scares me.....but that's just the way it is.

The Search Continues

The trip to Moncton went well, but still no van. There were a ton for sale....just not in our price range. A little bit discouraging, but now it's off to the auction! Or rather on Wednesday, we'll be off to the auction. I'm excited, actually, to go. We went to the one in Fredericton last year, on the hunt for a little beater, for Jason to drive to work. We had nearly no funds at the time, and thus did not purchase anything. There were a lot of vans at that one. I remember walking around, looking at them, sitting in them, wishing that one day we could buy such a vehicle. And now, we can! Or at least I hope too. It should be quite cool going to an auction this time - with money! Now all we need is the right van to bid on....and no one to out bid us. So stay home people!!

Road Trip

We're off to Moncton to look for vans......Kids too.....Just decided....Hey we're nothing if not spontaneous......Borrowing Jason's parent's car for the trip.....Gotta go...Wish us luck!

Snow Patrol

Friday night, the snow came again. So we awoke Saturday morning to the bright sight of freshly fallen snow against a clear blue sky. The kids loved it......well, except Abby. She is done with Winter, or more specifically - Winter attire. She can not stand to wear ski pants or winter coats any more. She keeps asking when Spring is coming and when the snow will be gone. I think she is under the impression that she will just wake up one morning and all the snow will have disappeared. Every year we have the tradition of making a snow family. And even though we have gotten quite a bit of snow this year, it was never really that packy, until now. Samuel opted to stay in and play Playstation(as Saturday is game day), while Jules and Jason went out and got busy.

And...voila! A snow family is born.

Nobody gets left out, not even Benjamin.

Later on, in the afternoon, we went for a drive to visit our old friends....Jake and Jenny. I think they missed us, as much as we missed them. They ran over to see us as soon as we called out their names. Although, I think they were a bit disappointed that we didn't bring them anything to eat. Did I mention that they're horses? That Jake is so jealous. He was nipping and shoving at Jenny quite aggressively, trying to run her off so he could get all the attention. Preston called him an abusive husband. Poor Jenny. We ended up going into Preston's house and staying for an impromptu visit. The kids love it there.

Yesterday morning Samuel and Jules went out early, right after breakfast, to play in the snow. It was another beautiful morning. Jason was in the bathroom and I was still in bed. Jason was nice enough to let me sleep in. Anyway, all of a sudden, I hear Samuel come busting into the house, yelling that Jules was stuck. Apparently her feet were stuck in the snow and she couldn't get free. Jason opened the bathroom window and was singing out to her. She had gone exploring on the other side of the baby barn, where the old van is parked. The snow there really is quite deep. So I got up and dressed and went out to find her. And there she was....stuck in the snow. Kinda funny really. I thought later that I should have took her picture first, before freeing her...but that would have been seen as cruel. Right? I freed only one leg and made her dig out the other one, just to show her that she could do it. Who knows? Digging one's self out of the snow might be a skill that could come in handy......again.

But Damn, I wish I had taken that picture.

In Like A Lamb

Yesterday we went to town for a drive in search of a van. This year we did unbelievably well in the income tax department. One of the unfortunate perks, I guess, to having two children with diabetes, is that you can claim ALOT on your taxes. Anyways, we are now in the market to buy a new minivan. Well, not brand new, but relatively new. I'm aiming for a 2000. Or maybe even a 2001! How cool would that be? So far no luck in the local area, so we are broadening our scopes. Jason has a few leads he's checking into. One that looks really promising is in Nova Scotia. So you never know, there might be a road trip in our future!

I work today for Stacy from 11-3pm. I'm really hoping that somehow I can get on full time as soon as next year. It's the perfect job for me right now. There are so many pros. I'm in the building in case someone has a question about treating the girls, the kids and I love seeing each other at lunch time, I'm in close contact with their teachers, no need for babysitters, weekends off, storm days off, summers off, etc.... The only con is that I don't earn much money. But right now, the list of pros totally outweigh the cons. Plus minimum wage is going up again. One can only hope they keep upping it.

It's Winter Carnival week at school. It's so bizarre to observe, now that I'm older. Monday was time warp day for high school. Some were dressed like the 50's/60's, some like the 70's.... and then there were those that were dressed like the 80's. What was so funny, was that it was hard to tell who was participating and who wasn't because so much of that stuff is back. I mean you walk into Stitches now and it's just full of bright yellows and greens, those long shirts and my God! - I almost died when I seen the big bulky bracelets in every color! Time Warp, indeed. They had a dancing competition during lunch in the cafeteria. So sad. One class danced to Thriller by Micheal Jackson. I had to suppress the urge to go up there and show them how it's done. Hmm... that would have left an impression to a bunch of teenagers - the cafeteria lady doing the moon walk.