Right on the money

Your horoscope for August 24, 2008
You may be feeling a difficult internal conflict, Jennifer, based on the fact that you know there are things that you need to be doing and responsibilities that you need to be taking care of, but at the same time, you simply do not want to do them. You would much rather spend your day forgetting about your duties and just having a good time. Whatever you decide to do, commit to doing it, and do not let regret or guilt spoil the picture.

The times...they are a-changing

I can't get a song out of my head. "Gather 'round people wherever you roam..." Yep there it is again...Bob Dylan's voice. I wonder if it means something?

My JDRF contact in Moncton, has asked me to organize a Community Walk in the Miramichi. I said yes! Who knew that little old wall flower me, with no voice, would ever agree to something like this? Not I! Since agreeing, I have had moments where I am half proud of myself...excited even. Other times a wave of panic washes over me. I think 'what the hell am I doing' and want to tell her I change my mind. Hopefully the bad moments will become fewer, as we start meeting and things start coming together. Hopefully.

This evening the whole family is going into town to buy the last supplies we need before Max's arrival tomorrow. I see it like I am pregnant and tomorrow is the due date. Only this time no C-section is needed - thank God! And of course, the baby looks less like Jason and more like Chewbacca. We are also going to pick up a few things for back to school, mostly clothing. I told Abby that bit of news and she preceded to dance around the room. It's a sin she hates to shop so much.

Wakey, Wakey

This morning at 5:30AM, Jason woke me up to tell me that Jules' pump had "no delivery". She was 22.5. He had to get ready for work so could I please get out of bed and take care of it? Rather then wake her up to change her site and endure the cries, I opted to give her a pen with 1.5 units instead. That done, I returned to the warmth of my cozy big bed where a lone house fly preceded to land on my face. Why do they do that? After finally falling asleep, I was awoken again. This time by Samuel to tell me that he was having a nose bleed. Lovely. Then back to bed with the same fly landing on my face. Ugh! They should make little guns with red laser sights just for this occasion. Then Jason comes in to give a hug and kiss and tell me he's leaving for work. Informs me that he has to pick up Gary and Kellie because Sherry's dog Jake is bleeding?? What is with this morning? Somehow I did manage to fall asleep again. Actually I was probably asleep before Jason's car was out of the driveway. Got back out of bed at 8:30AM. Changed Jules' sight. Gave the kids breakfast. Made some coffee which I notice is getting dangerous low. And now I am awake.

Two Years

This morning at break time, Jason called me from his cell phone. While working, he had passed by the calendar and saw "July 22" in bold, large print. When I answered the phone, Jason asked "Do you know today is?". I glanced over at the calendar on my fridge and said "Um...July 22?". I was trying to think of who's birthday it might be today. I really had no idea. Then Jason says, "Two years ago today....?". I gasped. I could not believe that I had forgotten. How was that even possible?

Two years ago today, Jules got diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. I'm not going to rehash what happened that day. I've written about it in detail before. It's a day that I will never forget.

Last year, I felt such a need to make it to this date. One year. I felt a need to go and do everything we had done the summer before. To revisit everything...only with diabetes. I had to prove to the world?..the girls?..myself? that this diagnosis was not going to control our lives. That we were not beaten.

Fast forward to now. I can't say I never gave it any thought at all. Returning to PEI, and then to Fundy, I couldn't help but think how drastic our lives had changed since the last time we were there. How could I not? But it was so nice to be there again. We had such a great time. I definitely did not waste too much of time thinking about it. It was more of a passing thought that would drift into my mind only to drift right back out again.

Forgetting todays anniversary, is very significant I think. Wait, perhaps "forget" is the wrong word. As I've said, I could never "forget" that day. It is one of the few days in my life that I will always remember in great detail. But had Jason not phoned just now...Had he, himself, not looked at the calendar when he did....Today would have come and gone without us giving it a second thought. Maybe a week from now we would have remembered, only to realize it had already passed by.

What is so significant about this date slipping our minds, is exactly that - it slipped our minds. We were not focused on it. We've been enjoying Summer, living our lives, and the approach of this date did not have a monopoly on it. In other words,...progress!

Who Are You

Just killing time until I can check the girls. Watching VH1 Salutes The Who on television. When they played Teenage Wasteland I had to resist cranking the volume. I realized tonight that I have had this blog since April of 2004. For fun I clicked into the archives just to see who I was back then. How my life has changed. Whoa. Nuff said. I also noticed how much I used to blog and how much I don't now. This stirred some regret. It's nice to have your life documented, if only just to help yourself glance back now and then. I must try and blog more often. Even just little blurbs about what the kids are up to. Something to give some hint of what my life is like at this particular moment in time.

In that spirit, today I mowed the lawn. Not very exciting, but there it is.