The times...they are a-changing

I can't get a song out of my head. "Gather 'round people wherever you roam..." Yep there it is again...Bob Dylan's voice. I wonder if it means something?

My JDRF contact in Moncton, has asked me to organize a Community Walk in the Miramichi. I said yes! Who knew that little old wall flower me, with no voice, would ever agree to something like this? Not I! Since agreeing, I have had moments where I am half proud of myself...excited even. Other times a wave of panic washes over me. I think 'what the hell am I doing' and want to tell her I change my mind. Hopefully the bad moments will become fewer, as we start meeting and things start coming together. Hopefully.

This evening the whole family is going into town to buy the last supplies we need before Max's arrival tomorrow. I see it like I am pregnant and tomorrow is the due date. Only this time no C-section is needed - thank God! And of course, the baby looks less like Jason and more like Chewbacca. We are also going to pick up a few things for back to school, mostly clothing. I told Abby that bit of news and she preceded to dance around the room. It's a sin she hates to shop so much.

My Life In Pictures

I can't seem to take the time to write about the things we are doing, so instead I thought I would share a few photos.

We're getting a puppy! He was only ten days old when this picture was taken. Look how tiny he is! We'll be bringing him home around the 10th or 11th of August.

We participated in the Canada Day Parade again this year. Our little way of thanking everyone for their support. Unfortunately, we lost the sign on my side halfway through. :(

After 3 years of missing her, I finally got to return my island! PEI, that is. I wish I could convey into words how that place makes me feel. Not just the cottages or Avonlea, but the island itself. As soon as we were off the bridge, my eyes started to fill with tears...I could not believe I got to come back. I didn't want to leave. The kids, being older this time, enjoyed it immensely. Especially Abby, who could not remember ever being there. I took 106 pictures...wish I could post them all.

The Anne of Green Gables Country Fair was happening at Avonlea the weekend we were there. This guy would walk around playing his mandolin and singing...

At Avonlea, you can dress up in the old time clothes and get your picture taken for free. You just have to use your own camera. We all did it....but Samuel stole the show! I tried to get him to smile but he was in character. He said he was tired of waiting for the train that would not come. Too cute!

Jason took this pic of me and the kids in the Avonlea gardens. Beautiful! I took a good 20 pictures of the plants and flowers alone!

This past weekend we got to return to Alma, which is just outside the Fundy National Park.

The kids loved walking on the beach in their aqua shoes. Jules collected sea shells in her bucket. (*Notice Abby's "Marilyn" pose* LOL)

This is where we would sit and watch the tide go in and out. It is just yards away from out Motel room door. Very relaxing to listen to the waves and feel the breeze off the water.

One of the many beautiful views....this one was taken when the tide was out.

While we were there, we celebrated Jason's 34th birthday. Happy Birthday Honey!

Summer Sequel

As I've mentioned before, we are planning on putting Jason's old car in the Canada Day Parade. Yesterday morning, I had a genius idea. Since we're going to be driving through the community very slowly while everyone looks on....what better opportunity to thank said community for their support? Kinda make it into a Team Keenan float, if you will.

I bought some white Bristol board to make signs. Haven't quite decided how to word it yet, but it will be something along the lines of "Team Keenan thanks you for supporting us in the Walk for the Cure". We're all going to wear our JDRF t-shirts and we've already purchased a flag kit for the car. I also bought some sticky-back magnet strips for attaching the signs to the car, so as not to hurt the paint. Very important you know. :)

I told the kids and Jules got very excited. All of this has been very beneficial to her, I think. The story in the paper, the support at the yard sale, participating in the Walk.....it has shown her that people out there really do care. I've never been one to enjoy the limelight...or the spot light...or anything that would draw attention to myself. LOL. But all of that goes out the window when it comes to this. I would never want my little hang ups get in the way. I guess that's just one of the many blessings that has come out of all this....helping me to let go of some of my issues.

Good news! Samuel has decided to join us after all. Of course, only after we promised him candy. LOL. It's all about the food for him, you know. We're still planning on going camping Friday and Saturday night. So far the weather is looking alright. I hope it holds out.

Yesterday Jason and I had the rare opportunity of being in town without the kids. So we grabbed some Dixie Lee Chicken(hadn't eaten there in ages!) and headed over to the Richie Wharf and ate it outside by the water. Lovely! Sitting there under the pagoda(as God is my witness I WILL have one someday!) with the breeze blowing, I was reminded of the island. Oh, how I want to go back there someday! It felt so like Summer. I commented to Jason that it felt like July. You know how July has a feeling? And then, of course, I was reminded of last July.

The last time we were at the Richie Wharf was two days before Jules' diagnosis. Jason's brother was home visiting from Ontario. We had just received our official floor plan of our new house. Life was grand. My stomach turned a little. It's like my reflex is to start mourning all over again. And then I have to remind myself that she's ok. Abby's ok. We're ok. All of this happens in my mind, in the time span of 3 seconds. Then more enjoying the sun, and the breeze and quality time with my husband. Then I spot a tour boat sailing into view. I'm reminded again of that fateful day when Jason's parents and brother and his family took a tour of the river while we waited for them to return. Stomach turns......mourning......we're ok.

I think this will happen a lot to me, and with greater frequency, until the anniversary comes and goes. Last Summer seemed like it was stolen from us. It's like Christmas. You look so forward to it, counting down the days til it's arrival and then it finally comes......and it sucks! You're shocked. You want a do-over. You can't believe you have to wait a whole year til it comes again. This Summer is like our "do-over". We've gone through the ups of downs, trials and tribulations of a whole year with Diabetes, and now we've been rewarded with Summer's arrival. And we're fine. No, better than fine. We're strong.

And life is grand.

Night Shift

One of the only benefits to Jason working nights this week is that I will not have to get up at 3am to check the girls' sugars. I've had to get up Sunday thru Saturday. I getting a wee bit played out. Last night I didn't get up until well after 4am, and then it seems so hard to get back to sleep again. The joys of diabetes.

Another plus to the night shift is that it gives Jason a four day weekend. Woo-hoo! He'll sleep in Friday until 11am or so and then he's not required to work until Tuesday morning. We were thinking of going camping but are torn, considering all the Canada day festivities. We could leave at dinner time on Friday, and come home early Sunday morning, so that we wouldn't miss the parade and annual party at my Aunt's house. But this would mean we would miss the fireworks on Saturday night. Hmmm. We're supposed to gather at Kel's house for the Rock n' Roll fireworks the next week. So maybe the kids wouldn't mind. I guess it will all depend on the weather.

We're planning on being in the parade this year, with all of us in Jason's old car. I figure we might as well, considering we found ourselves in the parade last year. LOL(see archives). Samuel is not at all interested in participating. He would much rather be catching candy then throwing it. Go figure.

The whole family spent the day in town yesterday. Had a detour with Jules at the hospital. Nothing serious, she's fine. I bought Dad his late Father's Day gift, and got myself an Adirondack chair. It's wooden, unstained and lovely! I plan to stain it yellow, so it will stand out on my porch. I still need to finish staining the porch itself but the rain won't let up. I hope to have the white part all done by Canada day.

We ran into a couple we know in Walmart. They pulled us aside to ask us questions about our new house; if we liked it, etc... They also said they had heard how beautiful our house was inside. Wow! It was so bizarre to be on the other end of that conversation. Don't know if I'll ever get used to it.

Walking On Sunshine

Saturday morning we packed up the family and headed for Moncton. This was the weekend of the walk. We arrived around noon and checked into our motel room. We stayed in the same place as we did when we were down buying the van. It's perfect for us because it has a full kitchen, that way we can bring some of our own food to supplement cost. It also has two double beds and a fold out couch, which we needed since my mother was staying with us. The biggest selling feature of course is the heated indoor pool. The kids couldn't wait to go swimming. All of this for $95 plus tax! Hard to beat that!

We had a quick lunch with the rest of our group(their room wasn't ready) and then we took the kids shopping. Abby was very excited because we were also celebrating her birthday. The stores were mostly crowded, almost annoyingly so. It was hard to keep track of the kids. They were always running off with Mom, Kel or Sher. In the dollar store, I searched for something that all of us could wear to unite our team at the walk. I really would have like to have ball caps, but since it was the dollar store, this was hard to find. We opted instead for pink visors. Pink, of course, because we were representing such girly girls. lol. Maybe we should have done crowns?

After shopping, we ran into DQ and bought Abby her ice cream cake that we promised her. Then it was time for her "party". Everyone gathered in our motel room where we ate take-out, ice cream cake and watched Abby open her presents. She really enjoyed herself. I'm glad that she got to have a special birthday. Samuel is now asking if he can have his next birthday party in Moncton. Ummmm, no! lol. Then it was time to go into the pool. Jason had bought the kids these long plastic water shooters.....not a good idea. I might "accidentally" leave those home next time. It was great to be in the water again. First swim of the season! Later in the evening, we did our usual trek to Value Village. We always seem to go there whenever we are in the city. It might sound sad, but this is how I get clothes. This trip I snatched three pairs of jeans, one pair of shorts and a tee. Not too shabby.

The next morning the sky was blue and the sun was shining. We all ate breakfast together in the motel's little diner. Not feeling like eating the usual fare, I choose the Belgian waffle with strawberries and cream. Heaven! I couldn't finish all of it, it was so big. Then it was time to pack up, check out and don our visors!

JDRF's Walk for the Cure was located in Riverfront Park in downtown Moncton. In other words it's in behind Main Street, along the Petticodiac River. In regards to the walk, I must start by saying that it was one of the most organized events I've ever been to. Awesome! Since we were early, we snagged a picnic table and managed to keep it throughout the entire time. I led my team over to where we submit our pledges. When they saw how much we raised, they gave us a round of applause. Very nice. They also gave me a walk t-shirt, a nice bag and an ipod shuffle! Very nice indeed! My teammates also got a t-shirt, but no ipod. :( An ipod was the incentive prize for any walker who personally earned more than $1000, and since our yardsale profits were on my pledgesheet.....I got the ipod. Oh well, there's always next year girls. lol.

Scattered around the park were activities for kids. There was a jumping castle, some sort of blow-up tunnel castle, an arts and crafts table and the most amazing face painting.

There was also a very efficient BBQ area(no lines!), a snack stand, and coolers everywhere filled with ice cold water, juice and pop. Everything was free! Maybe the best part was the band Cat Sass - freaking awesome! I mean every single song was good. Their music really helped pump everyone up. A hockey player(#26) from the Moncton Wildcats and it's furry mascot were also there getting their pics taken with kids and signing t-shirts.

He signed my shirt, which would probably be more cool if I knew who he was. lol. Abby was not at all impressed with the mascot. She's not that into large fuzzy strangers trying to hug her. Go figure.

At 1:45pm, the band announced that it was picture time and could all the kids with diabetes please come up to the front of the stage to get their picture taken together. My girls were pretty well in the center, with fellow diabetic kids on either side. Just as the kids were finally all situated and smiling for pics, the band starts playing You and Me by Lifehouse. "What day is it.....". They were not 3 notes in and I was crying. I will never be able to hear it again without crying and seeing this image in my head.

Just after this pic was shot, two babies were seated on the right hand side. They were no more than 7-8 months old. It made me cry even harder to know that they too had this disease.

A few sleeve wipes later (I forgot kleenex) and after a very interesting trip with the kids to the port-a-potty, it was time to start the actual walk. We all lined up at the Start sign. Much to my Mom's chagrin, a bagpipe player started to play. And then we were off! The walk did not seem to take too long, 35-45 mins I would say. To Samuel, it was an eternity. lol. Jason carried Abby a lot of the time. Halfway through they had a stand set up with water bottles, where we took a rest so we could check the girls sugars. Then it was time for the home stretch.

This whole experience has helped me in ways I couldn't even imagine. I would recommend it to anyone who has gone through the same situation. I can not begin to describe my emotions as my family neared the finish line. Jason, the kids and I all held hands and stepped across. It was like that finish line represented so much more than just a 5k walk. It was that together, as a family, we had been to hell and back and yet we were not beaten. In fact we were stronger than ever. A moment I will never forget.

Ready for the Walk?

I've been active online much more than usual this week. Blogging, twittering, facebooking, etc... Don't get too used to it, though. As anyone who follows me knows I go through phases. Periods of time where I will blog everyday, or like today - twice a day, followed by weeks of nothing. lol.

I just received an email from the JDRF fundraising coordinator in Moncton. She sent out an email to all team captains to go over some last minute information and instructions. I read the instructions regarding submitting pledges, etc.. and then began reading the schedule of Sunday's events.

12pm – 1:45 pm - Registration (all pledges should be remitted by 1:45 pm)
12pm – 1:45 pm – Live Entertainment by musical band “Cat Sass”, BBQ, refreshments and activities for kids of all ages
1:30 pm – group picture of all children with Juvenile Diabetes (this picture will be used for a Thank You poster after the walk

I started to cry. Just the image of a group of young children gathered together, all smiles, all suffering with Diabetes would have been enough to make me cry back in the day. But now my two beautiful daughters faces will be there too. Too much.

She ended the email with the usual "if you have any questions, please contact me" etc... But then in large letters she wrote:

On Sunday, June 3rd, we WILL WALK TO CURE DIABETES!

And again the waterworks! I'm starting to become anxious about the walk now. If I can't read an email without bawling, how am I going to hold it together on Sunday? I've always known it was going to be an emotional, moving experience. I've just been avoiding thinking about it, I guess. Instead I've focused on the yard sale, Abby's birthday, etc.. But now the walk is upon us and there's no avoiding it any longer. It's one thing to get misty eyed and quite another to convulse uncontrollably. I don't want the kids to have to witness that. lol. Sunglasses are most definitely on the top of my list of things to pack, followed by a box of kleenex.

Not sure if I will be posting again before we leave. Today I'll be busy cutting cake, playing Mario, etc.... and tomorrow I work. Then comes the craze of making sure everything I want to take is clean and laundered, packing, double checking my list(OMG! Must make a list!) and helping the kids pack their bags. So, yeah I might not be back. But I'll be sure to take lots of pics which I will post and/or flickr. That is if I can stop crying long enough. ;)

No Man Is A Failure Who Has Friends

The above line is from one of my favorite movies, It's A Wonderful Life. Right now I am feeling a lot like George Bailey.....again. Late last Summer, in the midst of our chaos, the community blew me away with their support. And now they have done it again.

The Anglican Church Hall in Blackville is now filled to the brim with donations, not only from family members and friends, but from complete strangers as well. It is unbelievable! Our story was published in two local papers that came out this morning. Upon reading them, an older lady from our community, whom I've never met, called to offer us her winter coat. Another gentlemen called from Newcastle to offer donations. Several older ladies surprised me with baked goods to sell in the sell. One even said she made me something special that was just for us to eat at lunch tomorrow...not to sell. She had dropped off a few items for the sale and gave me a huge hug before leaving and promising to return tomorrow. I can't stop to think about it or I will start to cry.

I had a moment as I was locking up the hall to come home tonight. I was proud of myself. No, proud doesn't seem like the right word to use. It's hard to describe. It's like seeing my children's picture in the paper along with the story describing everything we went through. It's like I can feel several emotions at the same time. I'm sad, yet happy, yet nauseous, yet proud, yet inspired, yet.... Like I said, very hard to describe. lol I intend to take the camera tomorrow so I can post pics of just how much stuff is actually there. Some people snuck their way in tonight, while we were still setting up. Mostly family members. lol. But now I've already raised over $70 and the sale hasn't even started yet! Amazing!

Now I have to try and wind down enough to get some sleep. The whole family has to get up early tomorrow. Busy, busy, busy.....but oddly, it feels good.