Here's To Giving It Another Go

The last few days have been rough. Really hard not to become cynical. I've been dwelling over the fact that I now have not one, but two daughters with diabetes. A friend lost her baby, another one found out her grandfather has cancer, and to top it all off Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter, died. It seems you can't do anything, go anywhere without hearing something tragic, some mis-justice in the world. Everyone I know is in a bad mood. .....Worrying about their kids starting school, worrying about their kids starting pre-school, worrying about their kids starting day care, hating their job, not wanting to return to their job, crazy over getting a new job, etc... I wonder if there isn't something going on in the universe. Seriously. Like in those old books or movies where this crazy fog rolls in and changes everyone. It has been foggy lately. Is the moon abnormally full? Is there some sort of comet passing over us?

I have a theory. It's just September. September seems to signify change. I've never really been fond of change much, myself. Although I always thought I was, but discovered long ago that I was just fooling myself. I'm a fan of spontaneity, not change. And there is a difference. When you're spontaneous, you are choosing to do something out of the ordinary. It's different than what you might normally do at that time, and thus yes shakes things up a bit. But true change occurs when you don't have a choice. It happens whether you like it or not and there's not a damn thing you can do to stop it. Yeah, spontaneous good...... change, not so much.

I'm one of those people who enjoy comfort, as in comforting. Like curling up on the couch to watch a movie you've seen a million times, tucking yourself in at night with a good book, or listening to that special song that always brings you peace. And lately there seems to be no comfort to be found. Nothing works. No peace. No joy. And I hate it. I don't want to become one of those people. Those people who are constantly saying what a horrible place the world is to live in, .......how there's always something. You know - those people.

So I've decided to muster up all of my strength and give it another go. To try my damnedest to see the good. And maybe I'll catch myself even feeling it.